By Will Duru, BSc (Hons) Sport and Exercise Science, Award-winning Personal Trainer with over 10 years of experience in strength training and optimising recovery.
You know the feeling. A new burst of motivation hits you. You buy new gym clothes. You plan all your healthy meals for the week. You feel unstoppable. But then, a few weeks later, life happens. A sick child, a deadline at work, or just pure exhaustion. The motivation you had is gone. The couch looks much better than a set of squats. How do you keep that fire going when you are a busy dad?
The problem is that we often treat motivation like an emotion. And like all emotions, it comes and goes. It is not reliable. Relying on motivation to keep you on your fitness journey is like trying to power a car with a handful of fireworks. It is exciting at first, but it will not get you very far. You will be left stranded on the side of the road, wondering what went wrong.
This article will teach you a better way. It will show you how to stop relying on motivation and start building a system. This system is made of discipline and habits. It works even on the days when you have zero motivation. I will give you a 3-step plan to build your own motivation machine. The 12reps app is the perfect engine for this machine.
Part 1: Find a “Why” That Matters
Your motivation needs to be connected to something deep inside you. A simple goal like “getting a six-pack” is not enough. That is a surface-level goal. It will not keep you going when things get hard. You need a powerful, emotional reason to train. This is your “why.” As author Simon Sinek explains, great leaders and companies start with “why.” This same idea can help you stay motivated [1].
As a dad, your “why” is probably connected to your family. Think about what really matters to you. What is the real reason you want to be fit? Here are some examples to get you thinking:
- “I want to be strong enough to lift my kids onto my shoulders for years to come.”
- “I want to have the energy to run around and play with them without getting out of breath.”
- “I want to be a good example of health and strength for my children to look up to.”
- “I want to be healthy and alive to see my grandchildren one day.”
These reasons are much more powerful than just wanting to look good. They are about who you want to be as a father and a man. They are about your values. When your fitness goal is connected to your values, it becomes part of your identity. It is not just something you do; it is who you are.
Here is what you need to do right now. Take a few minutes and think about your real “why.” What is the deep, emotional reason you want to be fit? Write it down. Do not just think it; write it. Then, put it somewhere you will see it every single day. Put it on your bathroom mirror. Make it the lock screen on your phone. Put it on a sticky note on your computer. This written “why” is your anchor. When life gets stormy and your motivation disappears, this anchor will hold you in place. It will remind you why you started and why you need to keep going.
Part 2: Track What Matters to See Real Progress
Nothing kills motivation faster than feeling like you are not making progress. And nothing builds motivation faster than seeing real proof that your hard work is paying off. The secret is to track the right things. Many people make the mistake of only tracking their weight on the bathroom scale. The scale is a terrible motivator. Your weight can go up and down every day for many reasons that have nothing to do with fat loss or muscle gain. It does not tell you if you are getting stronger or healthier.
Instead of the scale, you need to focus on two things: progress photos and performance metrics. First, take progress photos every four weeks. Take them from the front, side, and back. You might not see changes when you look in the mirror every day. But when you compare your photos from month to month, the changes will be obvious. You will see that your body is changing for the better. This is powerful motivation.
Second, and most importantly, you need to track your performance. Are you lifting more weight than you did last month? Are you able to do more reps of an exercise? This is the ultimate proof that you are making progress. This is what strength training is all about. Getting stronger is a sign that your body is adapting and improving. A study in the *Psychological Bulletin found that monitoring your progress makes you much more likely to achieve your goals [2].
This is why a great workout tracker is so important. It is not just a nice feature; it is essential for long-term motivation. The 12reps app is designed for this. It logs every single workout you do. It remembers every weight you lift and every rep you complete. You can easily look back and see the hard data that proves you are getting stronger. Seeing your squat number go up is a much more powerful motivator than seeing the number on the scale go down. Download the 12reps app and start tracking the things that build real, lasting motivation for muscle building.
Part 3: Build Your Team for Accountability
You do not have to do this alone. In fact, you will be much more successful if you do not. Accountability is a powerful force that can keep you on track when you feel like quitting. When you know someone else is counting on you, you are much less likely to give up.
There are many ways to build your team. The first is to find a workout buddy. This could be another dad from your neighborhood or a friend from work who has similar goals. When you know someone is waiting for you at the gym, it is much harder to hit the snooze button. You do not want to let them down. Research consistently shows that having social support is a key factor in sticking with an exercise program [3].
If you cannot find a workout buddy, you can find your team online. There are many Facebook groups and online forums for dads who are trying to get fit. In these groups, you can share your struggles and your successes. You can ask for advice and get encouragement from other men who know exactly what you are going through. This sense of community can be incredibly motivating.
Another simple way to create accountability is to just tell people your goals. Tell your partner that you are going to work out three times this week. Tell a friend that you are trying to get stronger. Just saying it out loud makes it more real. It creates a layer of social pressure that can help you follow through. You have put it out into the world, and now you will feel a need to live up to your word.
Conclusion
Let’s review your new motivation system. First, you need a deep and emotional “why” that connects your fitness to your role as a father. Second, you need a system for tracking your progress that focuses on performance, not just the scale. Third, you need a team to hold you accountable. This is the motivation trifecta.
Motivation is not something you have; it is something you create. By building these three systems into your life, you are building a machine that makes its own motivation. You are no longer a victim of your changing feelings. You have a plan and a structure that will keep you going, day in and day out.
Are you ready to build your motivation machine? Are you ready to become the strong, healthy, and energetic dad you want to be? Start your for free trial of the 12reps app and get the tools you need to stay on track for good. Let’s build this together.
References
[1] Sinek, S. (2009). *Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action*. Portfolio.
[2] Harkin, B., et al. (2016). Does monitoring goal progress promote goal attainment? A meta-analysis of the experimental evidence. *Psychological Bulletin*, 142(2), 198–229. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-48228-001
[3] Zhang, Y., et al. (2022). The influence of social support on the physical exercise behavior of college students: The chain-mediating role of self-efficacy and exercise motivation. *Frontiers in Psychology*. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1037518/full
